I wish I came with a double who could take care of my thoughts, to-do lists and kept me on track. Today I am everywhere and trying to stay focused on completing the required and needed is becoming so. very. difficult.
Honestly, I just want to create and be messy.
The image above is presently what my desk looks like. The image that is on my monitor is a photograph of my office from a few months ago.
For those of you who don’t know me, I am not a very organized individual in nature. (BUT I love making organization look pretty!). It takes a lot for me to remember and remind. I loose my to-do lists and I own my iphone because it helps me remember. Sometimes I look at other creatives who seem to have all their ducks in a row, and honestly their ducks are in much better rows than mine… sometimes I feel like mine can rarely ever be found in the same location. I am not a type “A” personality. And as of late… I thought I had to pretend to be. People who are successful, I thought, are organized. Their world isn’t messy. Their lives, even if it’s full of kids with medical and school issues like mine, still aren’t messy enough for it to compensate for their organization and successfulness, especially within their business.
I can get side tracked ever so easily. I love telling stories and I love the details of those stories. I’m the kind who remembers the details of a joke and will completely forget the punchline.
But guess what…
Sometimes Artists are messy. And even within the messes we find the most beautiful of things. In my world, I love photographing the messiest parts. Because they are honest and true.
In the past I have guilted myself in attempts to be perfectly organized; striving to make this B personality an A. Over the past few months I have been learning to let go of the pressure I place upon myself. Letting go that I need to be completely organized, put together and appear successful each day as I walk out the door at 8:10 with the kids. There are days I look like I crawled out of bed at 3 pm just to pick my son up from school; this isn’t true however. No one said the juggle between owning your own business, running a house hold, and being an artist was an easy one. Throw in doctor appointments, hospital visits, school meetings, and flat out being a mom… somedays are flat out rough.
I have learned to show myself grace and to even say out loud to myself, “I am good enough. This mess that I am and this mess that I stand in, I am still good enough.”
But back to the beauty in these messes. I want to start letting you get to know the person behind these photographs. Behind the clean white lined website. Behind the business of Austyn Elizabeth Photography.
To me, beauty is found everywhere. It is worth celebrating, documenting and remembering. And the best part, I have come to find the most beautiful of things are sometimes within the moments that are the messiest.
So here is to beauty, because our messy selves and lives can never keep it hidden.